I have met my new girlfriend Carmen, while living in a kibbutz in Northern Israel.
I am now, thank
God, living in Jerusalem. Sadly, however, I have not yet found
her. My vision is real- I bumped into her in February. She smiled
and said her name is Sunitayahu. With God's help I will become
a full Jedi/Dolphin soon, and unite with this elusive dream I
refer to as The Ethiopian Woman. . .
Son of Waves, Jerusalem
update 5/29/99: The
tides are moving me away from Jerusalem, the evolution towards
full Dolphin is leading me away from cities (even those claimed
to be holy) and towards a far away Island, where I will be able
to swim free and continue my quest without distraction. Aside
from the miracle of building Son of Waves Studios and a self
supporting internet presence (now 5 sites as well as a commercial
business), 3 of the 4 missions since moving here Jan 97 have
been accomplished- 1. Setting up a studio in Jerusalem (with
potential to save the planet, and communicate Double Mirrors)
2. A new album - The Doorway, with Jerusalem Techno. 3. Release
of the Project Double Mirrors CD ROM (and soundtrack CD) 4. Find
the Ethiopian Woman- this is still not completed. (I did find
her back in Feb '97, but managed only a few sentences- to say
she inspired me to move here, and that she is the most beautiful
woman I have every seen. She smiled, but then vanished.) Please
God give me one more chance. But if not, with God;s help I will
be able to see the same beauty I saw in Sunitayahu in the dolphins
and beautiful spirits of future infinite journeys. Life is a
dream- perhaps keeping one's own soul pure is the most to hope
to accomplish. This is in fact may be my main mission. With God's
help, the vision that has brought me this far will only grow
in waves, exponentially stronger, with a future path leading
ever closer to God/Love/Truth, free of all corrupting forces
that would challenge this end.
Summer, 1994: I am
Dylan, Son of the Waves. Welcome to my life. Dylan Bob,
my parents named me. . . a backwards Bob Dylan. Yeah they were
hit pretty hard by the sixties. But Dylan Robert Tauber, just
doesn't sound right. Sure, Bob Dylan was Jewish to (his real
name, I hear, was Robert Zimmerman), but a Jewish Dylan? I thought
Dylans are supposed to hang out at places like 90201 and Hollywood
movie sets, not in Yeshivas in Milwaukee. It was no accident
that I was named Dylan; in Welsh the name means Son of the Waves,
and this is who I was destined to become. . .
So here I am, a lost and frustrated American
Jewish visionary/ writer/ photographer sophomore at Columbia
College, named Dylan. To tell you the truth, I'm actually a self
proclaimed visionary. But most of us visionaries are, I suspect.
After a quest leading me to the waves of the Mediterranean off
Tel Aviv, I had a vision- inspired by New Jews- of Double Mirrors
and Dolphins. My dream is to go back to this land of God's blessing,
marry The Ethiopian Woman of my dreams, have many children, live
on the beach, and finally get my mother out of my head. In short
to become a full Jedi. A man of Truth and Love. So what the fuck
was I doing at Columbia University, in Manhattan, material capitol
of the land of Elvis impersonators and spray on cheese-in a-can?
Good question. Juxtapositional irony is what my Lit Hum professor
would probably call it. I believe I'm here in New York destined
to communicate the Truth I have seen, but I'm getting tired of
I just like to say that a drunk deity is writing my life story.
In fact, after trying to explain my vision to hundreds of people,
I am getting tired of talking about it at all. The bottom line
is that I'm a neurotic fuck up,with an MTV attention span and
a tendency to sleep until 2 in the afternoon. I found the meaning
of life but I'm a slow typer.
found the meaning of life... but I'm a slow typer.
a dream, though. A vision that I must communicate. As the Israelis
said when they were fighting wars for the survival of their country,
Ain Breira- there is no choice. I must go on. I have got this
far only out of the mercy of a being, for a lack of a better
name, I call God like the rest of the world. His help, an external
energy that we all have the potential of tapping into, is the
only reason I believe I will someday finish this thing. The last
five years which brought me to the point I'm at now make up the
most bizarre true story you will probably hear anytime soon.
Unless there's some other Generation X fuck up out there diagnosed
by a psycho shrink to have possible manic depression, an anxiety
disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, and, mind you, went
to Yeshiva in Milwaukee. I don't care what the most recent PC
study says; I sure as hell wasn't born this way. It takes a lot
of shit to get somebody that messed up. So for the last few years
I have been on a vision quest with the immediate goal of finding
the meaning of life and the long term goal of getting myself
straightened out in the process.
Tossed into a yeshiva in Milwaukee at the
age of thirteen, and adopted by the waves of Lake Michigan, I
surfaced into the world with a mission- a search for truth that
brought me as far as Jerusalem. The air raid sirens went off
when I was exposed to the lies of the Rabbis in Milwaukee. The
war of truth is now raging at full scale and I will not- no,
can not rest until I communicate my vision. I'm the first to
admit that all this might just be a result of watching Star Wars
one too many times, and a few loose screws in my head. But what
if I'm right? What if I have seen Truth? What if I am the little
kid shouting the Emperor has no clothes? There is at least a
minute chance that all this is not just in my head. Regardless
of what the scientific facts are, The bottom line is I believe
that I am a Jewish version of Luke Skywalker, on a quest, like
Don Quixote who I had to read about for Lit Hum, to fight evil-
the lies perpetuated by the Rabbis and other Yoda figures of
the world. And to exhibit the greatness of God/Truth/Love. To
sing the praises of the New Jew, and if it is not too late, prevent
the spiritual beauty of Israel from being shattered by Civil
War. And maybe even help convince my family to eventually move
to Israel, the Jewish homeland. But we all have our own "Israel"
somewhere- a home of spiritual harmony and love. It is God's
mercy that brings us there and helps us overcome the lies and
fears blocking the path. If I can help one 13 kid out there with
a Jewish mother from that will be cool. But what I really want
is to wake up every single person out there in this cave of ours
whose been oppressed by lies, fear, and hatred. By spreading
Love and Truth and these demons will be destroyed. We must put
an end to organized religions, oppressive governments, and every
other institution that spreads human suffering. But more than
that we must Love. Free love isn't some slogan from the sixties.
It is the only thing that will keep humanity from destroying
Islamic fundamentalist who preach terrorism, death
and destruction- FUCK YOU. This is one Salmon Rushdie who isn't
going to shut up. [And you can't kill me for another 6 years
because my Jesus complex tells me I won't die until I'm 26- in
the year 2000. . . So there.]
And all you Rabbis out there spreading lies and
fighting plans for peace- Fuck you too.
We are all the same. We must become united as humans.
We are one tribe, and if don't begin to love each other than
we will destroy ourselves permanently and the cockroaches (the
only species scientists say would survive a nuclear holocaust)
will inherit the Earth. It is either the cockroaches or love.
Armageddon or Messiah. And the Messiah isn't some dude on a white
horse. A Messiah is sleeping in the heart of each of us. But
so is an equal potential for destruction. It is up to us to decide
which it will be.
The revolution is here.
A little vision
quest never killed anybody; I say we all should try it. Its actually
very therapeutic. The only problem is most of us have heads already
overflowing with the contemporary preconceived, intellectualized
bullshit dogmas of our society. Its like Bruce Lee, a full Jedi
and one of my role models, said: you can't pour more tea into
a glass that is already full. We can't understand new ideas if
our heads are already full with the old.
Why do I make my life miserable by obsessing over
my vision quest? It would seem I have a major overdose of humanity-
self reflection. I think way too much. I look at my life from
a distance constantly, trapped in the past like all the other
Old Jews. This self consciousness got to the point where I began
to question everything- even my own sanity.
But what has been messing me up more than anything
else is my self reflection. Until this force transcends to Love,
it is just wasted energy that becomes a cage of obsessive self
destruction that traps me in my self and ties down my soul. This
is the real problem- my self destruction and fear of myself.
This internal dissonance translates to a fear of people. I must
learn to overcome my fear of people just as I have overcome my
fear of the water. Not by conquering but by embracing what I
am scared of. I need to get out of my head. I need to learn to
Love. I must evolve into a New Jew.
believe it is through this project that I will
finally make that leap. It is the self reflection of this work
that will provide the fuel to allow my soul to take off. But
this is a very dangerous game. The engine is racing, and I'm
now more self reflective than I have ever been in my life. And
more messed up too, not surprisingly. The faster I go, the more
there is chance for me to take off. OR the chance that I will
race off the runway and blow up. Either way, I feel it is my
destiny to write down the story of my last seven very strange
years. Years that shaped who I am today, and brought me to my
air conditioned summer housing room on 115th street and Broadway
[summer of '94], where I am determined to write down my story.
And communicate my vision. . .
. [Significantly, It is only when
I returned to Jerusalem in the summer of '95 that I was able
to finish this project of communication with the help of God.]
Although I recognize the potential of this work to add pain and
destruction, with God's help it will only add love. Every potential
for good is accompanied by a potential for bad, and it is up
to each of us to decide which will happen.